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It seems that I have accidentally become a person my friends come to when they want to talk about dating – so I thought why not share with the rest of you guys some of my thoughts about dating in your twenties.
I love dating, I love meeting new people, I love story telling – dating allows you to hear other people’s stories and get a glimpse into what makes them tick. Just to give you context of my love life ; had my teenage sweetheart, average relationship in uni and now been dating a guy for a year. So pretty standard for a twenty something, however here is some things I have learnt along the way! As always, I would love to hear your tips too. So, here it goes:
Always go on the second date
I hear you are meant to know on the first date if you click or if there is something there. But I don't always believe that's true. People can get insanely nervous on a first date and not show their real selves. Everyone deserves a second chance right? Even if it’s a wee bit a crappy – I always give the guy a second go.....just in case.
Dating is market research for your future self
It’s true, casual dating allows you to know what you are looking for in your ideal partner, things that you might not have thought of before! Don’t worry if your ideal partner changes overtime, your preferences change as you grow. I thought my first love was the bees knees but would never fit with the life I have now. But if you know they aren't right, don't keep them too long either.
Listen to your mum
Like it or not your mum knows you better than you do. And let’s be honest she usually knows best. If she has her suspicions, hear her out. Your mum will have your best intentions at heart out and just wants the best person for you so she could be on to something.
Use dating to explore a new city
Dating gives you a chance to explore different parts of a city that you might not necessarily have got a chance to see. Try and be creative with your dates and plan some fun activities. This is especially handy when you havn't met any friends in a new city yet. (For mote tips : 5 Tips for Moving to a New City).
The never-ending Christmas engagements
In your 20s you will get to one particular Christmas where your social media feed is filled engagements. If you’re not even close to an engagement, don’t worry your wee self – life isn’t a race. If you are at an age where you think you should be engaged and you think everyone is judging you, it won't be the case - people are more wrapped up in their own lives than you think.
Follow the 3 month rule
If there is something that deeply upsets you about the other person or there is something you know you won’t be able to live with – cut it. People don’t change. Like, I promise you they don’t. After you're 18 your thought processes are pretty wired in for good so if there is something you know won't change in the other person, don't waste your time.
If a guy wants to be with you, he’ll be with you
This one is from my dad, and one that has stuck with me. It goes for the other way round too, if a guy doesn’t want to be with you, he won’t be. If you are getting things like “you’re too good for me” , “Im too busy for a relationship” – they don’t want to be with you. If you find yourself convincing someone to be with you, STOP IT. You should never have to convince anyone.
This is one of my favourite Ted Talks from Meg Jay, "Why 30 is not the new 20"on not wasting dating in your twenties:
Would love to hear what you guys think.
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